At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I see more hoeing in ur future
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