my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
