she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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