He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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