so that wasnt chicken after all
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
