We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
