would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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