i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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