bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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