It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
