that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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