no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
