do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
