sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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