32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
