i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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