Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
