I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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