How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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