I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
