So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
