best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
