he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
