Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
