One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
