when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
