To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
