theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He felt like a one man threesome
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
