at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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