Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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