Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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