Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
