so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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