I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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