he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
