ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
