I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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