the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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