IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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