im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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