Buhtt sex?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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