Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
