that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
