I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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