How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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