did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
