marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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