I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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