You're so nebulous sometimes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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