I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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