Cold hands, warm shart.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
