Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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