YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
