Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
