It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize