Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
