covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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