Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
