I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
